** TEASER**
I was sure in
my head, somewhere, I knew why Bella was avoiding my calls, but I guessed I
just didn’t want to face it. I needed her to forgive me, or at least to see me
so I could apologize the way she deserved. What she did after that was her
decision, but I knew for certain when a whole day passed of her avoiding me
that I would fight whatever that decision was.
I was
confined to my bed, told I had to rest completely to give my body a chance to
recover. As I lay there, my stomach was in knots, gnawing away at my insides,
telling me I didn’t stand a chance with Bella after what had happened. After
the way I had treated her. My phone was never far from my reach, and I waited
anxiously for it to ring. Fuck if it did. I would even sometimes check to see
if I’d accidentally turned it off, or if it was on silent, but I knew better,
deep down I knew she didn’t want to see me.
We were over,
but I couldn’t come to terms with it.
I kept my
sketchbook beside me, tracing my fingers over the countless drawings I had done
for her since we’d met. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if I’d ever drawn
her before. Surely I must have. Where was everything from my time in New York?
There had to be receipts or ticket stubs I’d kept, mementos from our dates, if
we even ever had any.
I tried to
remember the way she felt beneath my hands that weekend in the tent, the way
her skin tasted when I kissed her, the noises she made when I held her the
right way, the scent of her hair when I buried my face in her neck. It only
frustrated me further when I couldn’t remember the way her laugh sounded when I
said something funny, it was completely obliterated by the sound of her
screaming at me that day in her house. It played on repeat in my head and no
matter what I did, I couldn’t get it out.
She’d stayed
Wednesday night with me, but then she’d left first thing in the morning. Did
she just need time to herself to understand how she was feeling? She’d taken
care of me; she loved me. I could feel it in her touch. I found myself
panicking; maybe I’d imagined it, willed it to be true. What if she no longer
loved me?
****
I'm afraid I can't keep to my two week deadline this week, but I promise this chapter won't be more than a few days late :) I'm already at 3500 thousand words, and I know where I'm going, so until it is posted, I hope you savour this little tease to bide you over :D
Sarah x
No comments:
Post a Comment